i lied

I'm not going to continue with my previous post. Too much time has past, too much context has changed. Everything is context.

candle vs. darkness

off the deep end again. hopefully the theoretical won't become unanchored this time though.

i was struck recently , watching a borerline televangelical conspiracy theory snippet where the speaker used the metaphor of the candle chasing darkness from a room but darkness being unable to encroach in a similar manner on a well lit room.

having a limited background in film, including lighting and gripping, i'd object to this parable on a number of grounds, but let's start with why i agree with it.

I agree with it insomuch as that i do believe light is in essence the birth of all being- elohim = the lights, ra was the sun god, etc. etc. on some level we all understand that the radiation of energy in a bright form is where we get sustenance from... a long time ago there was a big explosion and energy began to streak across a vacuous nothing, this nothingness worked as a chisel against the energy, articulating it into a slower vibrations, matter, and so it goes.

Unfortunately I believe that the example of light as knowledge is too accurate to be twisted in parable. If knowledge can be described as etic ('objective') reality as understood by the subjective experience, then true pure knowledge (which some might call God) would be incommunicable to others as it would encompass more information than the individual experience could process.

This would be the aforementioned 'well lit room' of the parable, the purest most blown out 14k of hdmi light 2 inches from your eyeball bright, you get the picture, this room is bright, darkness cannot encroach. Maybe this is the eventual permutation of the universe before time reverses. If time even exists the way we think it does... I digress.

Well, then the appropriately dark room would be a black hole... or as close as I can imagine would be nowhere. Guess what, light a match nowhere, and it's not going to get much brighter. On one end of the spectrum, the infinite light, on the other end, the infinite dark.

more in the next post.

too much love

in any given instant there's always something within 2 meters that deserves your love.

dreams

it's good to dream, because the world is a more interesting place for it.

give and take

The more you notice something, the more real (non-etic reality) it becomes.

the anatomy of loneliness

loneliness is the art of finding beauty in yourself.

are you sure?

certainty is death.

laziness and love

brain fart.

A World of Increasing Complexity

three rules to life: Love, Breathe, Create

jealousy jjjjjj

Jealousy is just when we lose sight of ourselves in our acquaintances, right?

Or maybe it's a reminder to get the things you want.

Off the Deep End

So here we are, the pinnacle of human evolution, and we're all testament to that. We're smarter, healthier, stronger and more resourceful than any previous generation. This is the good news.

The bad news is that we are also living legacies to the ideologies that have shaped humanity, most namely, greed, avarice, hatred, violence, unhappiness, etc. etc. Why have we not evolved past some of these baser emotions?

Silly question really, we haven't evolved past these issues with humanity because they have been the driving factors in our continued evolution. It's been in the interest of the powers that be (as Icke calls it, the prison warden consciousness) to use our simplest emotive mechanisms as tools to control us.

This is called manipulation.

So with our history of being manipulated, along the way we've become entrenched with both the values which we've been manipulated to respond to, and to the actual process of being manipulated as well. Without this willful guiding we become lost and confused, which is not an uncommon feeling for a human (at least I hope not), as making decisions for yourself can be difficult when you're not used to it.

I mean sure I can pick out what I want to wear every day, whether I want a can of Coke or Pepsi, but could I choose between two drinks I didn't know existed? What if my wardrobe was replaced with the clothes of an alien from Sirius 5? Suddenly it's not a choice so much as an experiment.

What if the products that I choose from are really just crap that's perpetuating itself because it's endemic of the system of mass production and manipulated consumption (manufactured consent), and the real products, the things I need to make my life better, actually exist outside of my frame of reality?

What if the food I'm desperately hungry for cannot be bought, the music I want to hear is not recorded or packaged? What if money can't buy me happiness? What if this entire system (shitstem as we joked in art school) is pulling us into a moral (for lack of a better word) black hole where we can no longer remember the things that made life worth living, but instead are force fed the manufactured equivalent?

Procrastination

I put things off until the last minute. When given the chance between doing something now and doing something later, chances are I'll choose later. I have an issue with instant rewards, and needing them regardless of long term consequences, so I'll have to invent a game to give me incentive to stick to the habits and patterns I'd like to follow.

Lactose Intolerant

So I'm thinking of the other day, when on a date recounting my unfortunate predication to intolerance of lactose that I realize my stomach was gaseous because of a chai latte I had earlier in the day, which I had only barely registered as being made with milk. And I'm wondering, how many discomforts in my day to day, both physical and mental are a result of the active ingestion of foods or ideologies I am allergic to as a person?

Answering this question scares me, because it presumes my life can be lived without discomfort, and discomfort is something my ego likes to hide behind.

Annie Hall

Easily my favorite Woody Allen film. I was thinking about that phrase "i would never want to be a part of any club that would have me" that Allen attributes to Groucho Marx I think- and how Allen ties that into his preference in women.

I completely understand... it's the 'grass is greener' cliche, the wanting what you don't have, because what you have isn't enough.

What isn't enough is right now, I don't even know if right now exists. To be truthful I think anything that's right now is bought up packaged and sold at an exorbitant price.

The 35 Best Horror Movies

The 35 Best Horror Movies I've Seen

exorcist

the shining

seven

blair witch

may

frailty

rosemary's baby

1408

freaks

irreversible

28 days later

martyrs

dawn of the dead (both versions)

from beyond

re-animator

basket case

brain damage

cemetary man

texas chainsaw massacre (1974)

slither

the ring (japanese and american versions)

haute tension

halloween (1978)

hostel

event horizon

the thing

alien

kairo

the mist

in the mouth of madness

a la interieur

[rec]

grindhouse

Lat den ratte komma in

the hunger

The Other Half

Nobody likes to see you alone except other lonely people. Life seems to be more about the connections you make with other people than it is about personal achievement. At least in my industry. When the student is ready the master will appear; such is life.

recurring problems

Recurring problems are reminders of choose-your-own-reality boundaries. Conquer your problem, change your reality. Fall back into your problems and stay the same.

Churlish Requests

People don't like to spend money. But they love to get things.

I don't like to spend money. But I love getting things.

The only way to get things without money is with love.

And this is why love is the biggest con game of all.

Baby Steps

I know my strongest genres are horror, sci-fi, and to a lesser extent action, but "What About Bob?" the perversely humorous movie starring Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss is pretty damn good.

Baby steps to understanding. Baby steps to the rest of your life.

Big fan of how two characters seemingly turn into each other, sending each other from one extreme to the next. It's good to play games with yourself, and when you forget how, someone will inevitably show up and make your life hell until you can have fun again.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone.

First Blog

90seconds in ninety seconds/why such an arbitrary number?:

1. when we die there's a supposed moment of complete recall where your pineal gland releases the spirit molecule inside your brain, and you relive your entire life (life flashes before your eyes) in the ensuing 90 seconds.

2. we live in completely automated lifestyles, the average person's consciousness is 90 seconds behind the present. to truly think something through takes at least 90 seconds.

3. if sunspots were to cause the disruption of all electrical activity on earth, it would be 90 seconds from the elapsed time of the first flickering lightbulb to complete loss of power.