jealousy jjjjjj

Jealousy is just when we lose sight of ourselves in our acquaintances, right?

Or maybe it's a reminder to get the things you want.

Off the Deep End

So here we are, the pinnacle of human evolution, and we're all testament to that. We're smarter, healthier, stronger and more resourceful than any previous generation. This is the good news.

The bad news is that we are also living legacies to the ideologies that have shaped humanity, most namely, greed, avarice, hatred, violence, unhappiness, etc. etc. Why have we not evolved past some of these baser emotions?

Silly question really, we haven't evolved past these issues with humanity because they have been the driving factors in our continued evolution. It's been in the interest of the powers that be (as Icke calls it, the prison warden consciousness) to use our simplest emotive mechanisms as tools to control us.

This is called manipulation.

So with our history of being manipulated, along the way we've become entrenched with both the values which we've been manipulated to respond to, and to the actual process of being manipulated as well. Without this willful guiding we become lost and confused, which is not an uncommon feeling for a human (at least I hope not), as making decisions for yourself can be difficult when you're not used to it.

I mean sure I can pick out what I want to wear every day, whether I want a can of Coke or Pepsi, but could I choose between two drinks I didn't know existed? What if my wardrobe was replaced with the clothes of an alien from Sirius 5? Suddenly it's not a choice so much as an experiment.

What if the products that I choose from are really just crap that's perpetuating itself because it's endemic of the system of mass production and manipulated consumption (manufactured consent), and the real products, the things I need to make my life better, actually exist outside of my frame of reality?

What if the food I'm desperately hungry for cannot be bought, the music I want to hear is not recorded or packaged? What if money can't buy me happiness? What if this entire system (shitstem as we joked in art school) is pulling us into a moral (for lack of a better word) black hole where we can no longer remember the things that made life worth living, but instead are force fed the manufactured equivalent?

Procrastination

I put things off until the last minute. When given the chance between doing something now and doing something later, chances are I'll choose later. I have an issue with instant rewards, and needing them regardless of long term consequences, so I'll have to invent a game to give me incentive to stick to the habits and patterns I'd like to follow.

Lactose Intolerant

So I'm thinking of the other day, when on a date recounting my unfortunate predication to intolerance of lactose that I realize my stomach was gaseous because of a chai latte I had earlier in the day, which I had only barely registered as being made with milk. And I'm wondering, how many discomforts in my day to day, both physical and mental are a result of the active ingestion of foods or ideologies I am allergic to as a person?

Answering this question scares me, because it presumes my life can be lived without discomfort, and discomfort is something my ego likes to hide behind.

Annie Hall

Easily my favorite Woody Allen film. I was thinking about that phrase "i would never want to be a part of any club that would have me" that Allen attributes to Groucho Marx I think- and how Allen ties that into his preference in women.

I completely understand... it's the 'grass is greener' cliche, the wanting what you don't have, because what you have isn't enough.

What isn't enough is right now, I don't even know if right now exists. To be truthful I think anything that's right now is bought up packaged and sold at an exorbitant price.